I just wanted to thank your for stealing my mailbox. I hope you give it a good home. You didn't know it when you were doing your dastardly deed, but you were saving it from a crushing end.
A mere three days after you stole it, many mailboxes were crushed and killed as a Serial Mailbox Smasher went on a five mile smashing spree during the dark of night. There is no doubt my pretty green mailbox would have been one of the mangled, if you had not so kindly stolen it.
Mailboxes in all stages of crushed and mangled metal and plastic lined the road for miles, their lids helplessly dangling open.
The Serial Smashers started just a few miles east of here and proceeded to my folk's mailbox, where they caved in the whole side of theirs. As if that was not enough, they grabbed the dumpster and threw it and the trash out into the road. Then they proceeded four more miles north, leaving very few mailboxes unscathed, before their taste for destruction was sated.
Whomever they are, they have struck different areas of the county with impunity, leaving miles of mailboxes destroyed in their wake. The law hasn't yet been able to catch them at it.
However, Serial Mailbox Smashers don't take into consideration that people like my folks, might have a 60+ year old mailbox. That box was made back when things were made real and tough. A jack on the inside helped to pop it back out again, and it only carries a small scar on the side. It will be retired now, since it is an antique and has a 'family history', and because the world is full of jerks.
Note to Mailbox Thieves and Serial Mailbox Smashers--I'm in no hurry to put up a new mailbox. And when I do? It will be an old junker for awhile. Steal that if you must. Eventually there will be a new shiny mailbox, but maybe it'll be lined with well casing (smash that!), and the post will be set in concrete and maybe have some other secret things to keep it firmly planted in the ground. Oh yeah.
In the meantime, Mailbox Stealer? While I appreciate your thoughtfulness in removing my Box from harms way, I'd really like my Box back. It's special to me, and it needs medication.
13 comments:
I know all the jerks don't live in Missouri, because although we have never experienced any mailbox-smashing or stealing in the 14 years we've lived here (all the mailboxes for our gravel lane are in a nice, long convenient row along the paved road), we HAVE had mail stolen from our box and a check was even cashed. That thief was caught and we now have a locking box; I hope your area's jerks get the same. I tell ya, that would be enough to turn me into a .22-packing vigilante! I'm a pretty good shot; I KNOW I could hit tires....
Isn't it a shame that a mailbox isn't safe anymore, especially one that is on medication ... I about spit my evening coffee over the keyboard over that! LOL
It is a shame though that people have nothing better to do then steal or destroy mailboxes! We've never had trouble here but at our last house our mailbox was constantly being destroyed and let me tell ya, those suckers aren't cheap and buying one every couple of weeks for several weeks gets old!
We had a serial mailbox basher a while back in our area -- lots of folks ended up getting those rubber mailboxes. I'm with Michelle -- makes me think about lying in wait with a shotgun full of rock salt.
The mailbox smasher in our area was in for a surprise when the State Trooper that lives 4 doors down jumped in his car and yes, chased them down and arrested them!!!!!
Hurray for at least one lazy, no-good, can't-think-of-anything-better-to-do-than-destroy-someone-else's-property jerk being caught and prosecuted! I think they should have to pay with 100 hours of community service - for each mailbox!
I think anyone who would do such a violent, destructive, senseless act has a real problem! No 'sane' person would derive pleasure from such foolishness.
Well that's a bummer to wake up to isn't it! I'm so sorry for you and your nearby folks! Sick people there are in this world. We have the same problem over here in England except that we don't have the mailboxes like you do. We have a letterbox in the front door and the postman puts the post through that every day. One morning I got up to find that someone had stolen the flap that stops the wind blowing through the front door!! It took three visits to our local Homebase to get another one to fit and I haven't gotten over the trauma yet! Commiserations to you.
Blessings, Star
There's an award for you over on my blog. :-)
"Eventually there will be a new shiny mailbox, but maybe it'll be lined with well casing (smash that!), and the post will be set in concrete and maybe have some other secret things to keep it firmly planted in the ground. Oh yeah."
AHAHAH!! :-D I hope you do it! Make sure you set one of those nail carpets (like the police uses) near it!
::RRRAAAARRRRR:: (speeding car sound)
::POW!POW!:: (popping tires sound)
::SMAAASH!:: (crashing in the ditch sound)
::rub rub rub:: (Tammy rubbing her hands together in satisfaction sound)
:-D
Hey, maybe it's the mailbox shop owner that goes around smashing mailboxes like that?
Michelle, Surpisingly enough, this is the first time that mine or my folks mailboxes have come under attack, since we had to set up mailboxes (around 10 years ago when Mom retired as Postmaster). The stolen mail is particualary scary. I'm a pretty good shot too....unfortunately the law kinda frowns on it, unless they are on your property. ;-0
Pat, it is sad the things people do to entertain themselves, and you are right--it is costly and time consuming to clean up the mess!
Kara, I love it when the good guys win!
Nancy, I agree! And you always wonder what they will escalate to next.
Star,
Interesting prespective on how things are different there. It does do something to a person though, when someone steals or destroys their things.
Tammy
Of course, if you're hiding in the bushes when the jerks come calling, and their vehicle just HAPPENS to take a load of birdshot, what are they going to DO? Report it to the authorities? The only thing about that scenario is that I would worry that they would retaliate.... You know I'm just dreaming here. Us nice guys never take the law into our own hands. But sometimes Judgement Day seems like a long time to wait to see vengeance delivered.
I think I'd rig the best get them mail box possible all sneaky like. There's got to be a way to make the mail box look all innocent and such and when these idiots go smash it it gets them some way some how!!!
I would be so so mad.
But I guess at least your box was not smashed, just stolen. :)
OH Maybe you could put up a colorful pink floral bag instead of a mail box for a while and see what happens.
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