Tempe Here

My name is Tempe. Actually it's short for Temperance, least that's what my Humanbean tells people. The real story is that when I was only a few weeks old, I got out of the box where my fambily was, and when my 'bean saw me she put me back in, cause she thought I was too little to be out of the box on my own! Then I threw a big 'Temper Tantrum' and climbed back out. I guess I's pretty lucky I didn't get named Tantrum ....



In case you didn't notice I am a Torti. I'm sure everyone knows that Tortis are special and it isn't just about our marvelous swirled fur colors. See we are swirled on the inside too, and we have special Torti powers. And the 'bean says I have 'Attitude' too, but I'm sure if I do, I deserve it.


When I was just a smidgen I set about on my mission of making sure the 'bean got so smitten and attached to me that I wasn't going no where. She told me right off, that she didn't have nothing against Tortis (who would?), but she didn't plan to keep me, and she'd find me a real special home. Ha. Really? When I was 'bout four months old some other 'beans wanted to know if they could have me. You should have seen the look on my 'beans face as she stuttered around and turned them down! Mission Accomplished and frankly she never stood a chance. I am a Torti after all.

We used to stay out in the garage in our big play pen during the day, but we'd get out for awhile at night to play. It didn't take me long to make it to the house though, even though my 'bean would get all flustered and tell me it was dangerous with those big dogs. I wasn't skeered. I was gettin' in that house one way or another. And I did too. I got a job to do, and that's to keep an eye on my 'bean and I'm gonna do it, no matter what. It just took her longer to understand. Sometimes it takes awhile to train 'em, but you gotta be kind and persistent. Very persistent.

One evening when we were about three months old, I accidentally ran off to the road as fast as I could go. I knew that was the one place our 'bean said we couldn't go so I got 'steriously pulled down there. I took one of my brothers and sisters with me too. Our 'bean was having fits, and screaming and trying to get us to come back. Then this big old loud thing went roaring by and we all skeedaddled. The 'bean came running down to see how many of us got squished in the road. She didn't find none of our rotten little carcasses though, cause we didn't really go all the ways to the road. After that, we didn't get as much free time.....


Now, I think I should go outside with her too, when she goes outside, but so far she has foiled my attempts. I haven't given up yet.



I'm not a squishy lovey dovey kinda kitty, just so you know. I am a Torti, remember. When my 'bean picks me up and loves on me, I get all squinch eyed and pretend I'm not there. If she makes me endure the indignity too long, I will let out a polite little protest. She tells me 'that life is tough' so I have to endure it, but if looks could scratch....


Even though I don't like to be picked up and held too much, I do like to keep constant tabs on the 'bean. I can sit for hours and just watch, and usually that is what I do...pick a spot and sit there and keep my eyes on her. And I have those special Torti powers---I can not be there and then poof! I'm there. My 'bean says it's creepy the way I do that. I scare her all the time. It's fun. I do have troubles sneaking up at night though, 'cause I have this little yellow spot on my chin, and my 'bean says it shines like a beacon in the dark. I'll have to rub it in the ash dust when I have real secret missions to do.


Sometimes when I'm all sleepy I lighten up and get a little sweet and even purr. Don't tell no one though. It's hard enough being a Torti in this house. Also I can act all lovey dovey and lay on the 'beans legs at night and then all of a sudden bite her. That always causes lots of screamin' and kickin'!


I like to play with my fambily but I like to make sure I'm in control. Like if my sisters want to play barbies, I'll say lets play house instead or something like that. My brothers are just dorks. I don't take much from them at all. They is always 'crossing the line'. I gots lots of lines too. They do make good cushions though.


Once in awhile 'something will get hold of me' and I go a little crazy. I act like the hounds of ,well, the bad place, are on my tail and I run and skid through the house. Then I'll run and jump in the bathroom sink and roll on my back and bite the water and get all wet, then up and off again. I make my eyes all wild and crazy looking too. Everyfur stays out of my way when whatever it is gets hold of me.

Sometimes I'm just restless and I'll run around and poke into stuff, or just meow and carry on for no reason. When I do that my 'bean says I have 'ants in my pants and worms in my feet'. I'm not sure 'bout no ants, but I did have worms once....

My sister, Trinity, she is a calico --that's all small letters. She gets all huffy about me being a special Torti and all, cuz she says that a calico is the same thing only with more white on her, and that she is special too, and has special powers and stuff... But really? I mean come on .... she's a calico, I'm a Torti, what more can I say?
I do have one consuming interest (besides the 'bean), if you will. The 'bean she calls it an 'Obsession' but I'm sure that isn't true since I don't know what an obsession is. I love cheez balls. One day the 'bean bought some and she brought them home and thought it would be funny to see what we would do. Well. Love was born on that day. My other siblings tried to humor the 'bean and batted them around, but I grabbed one and wouldn't let go, not until it was half it's size and a 'grubby mess'. You see I don't eat them--I just carry them around in my mouth and growl at everybody and poke them into hard to reach places! My 'bean said maybe I can do a post of my own sometime about my favorite obsession, er, hobby. I got her trained pretty good--I get one cheez ball everyday to play with! I'm so special! No one else gets one at all. Just ME. My 'bean said that nobody else wants one, but I don't think that is true. I can see the envious looks in their eyes.


I also been working on my 'bean to let me do a Torti Tuesday post, but she is being pretty stubborn about it. There's other Torti's out there on the net and THEY get their own Tuesdays! Why not me? I could gossip about and cat bite all kinds of fur people here on the farm. It would be fun! Like for instance--Did you know there is a big Tom Cat that is hanging around and trying to make our 'bean let him eat here? She is hanging tough though and politely telling him he can't stay. She says he is very handsome and looks well fed. He is a dark solid grey AND she says he sounds just like us when we meow! In fact one day she went running out to the garage because she thought one of 'us devils' had somehow 'scaped from the house, because the meows coming from the garage sounded like one of us. But it was that big old Tom Cat! Now how's that for juicy gossip? See I could do this every week.. I could tell all kinds of farm secrets!


Well, the 'bean says that's enough, so I guess I better go. I still got lots to say, but the 'bean won't let me finish. It's almost time for my cheez ball anyway, so I'm going to go and sit on the container they are kept in so my 'bean doesn't forget! (Sometimes she does forget and I sit in there all alone for a long time). Hope you liked getting to know me. If anyone can ever truly know a Torti that is....



p.s. My 'bean says I'm in the Big Dog's House, and Grounded Fur Life, but I'm not very worried. She says I'm A Very Bad Cat, but as longs as I get my cheez balls, I don't care. You see I accidentally got up on the 'fridge the other night and was checking out some house plants. Then I got caughts and got a real spanking(!). Then as soon as the 'bean went out of the room I accidentally got back up on the 'fridge cuz there was something I needed to get a better look at. Then I gots another spankin' and put in Solitary for a little while. It didn't last very long though, cuz I turned on my Torti tears and the 'bean felt pretty bad....

p.s.s. I'm out of the Big Dog's House now! And what's left of them old cactus plants on the 'fridge got moved to a 'safe place'. Now 'us devils' sit on the 'fridge all the time and look out the door! One big furry leap for Cat-Kind..